We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public

Howdy y'all!

Yes, I am writing this all the way from the US of A! Quick news for family and friends, we arrived here safe.... ish. All will be revealed...

So yes, yesterday at 0600 myself and C were driven to the Airport by the lovely K. Despite a spot of heavier traffic, we got there in no time. The print out of our boarding passes online saved a lot of time and we literally walked straight in and were through to departures in minutes. Nice one. We were planning to start the trip with a beer in the airport (it's Beer o' Clock somewhere right?), but it didn't work out as we prioritised by getting breakfast and a coffee. It was going to be a long day and we felt rough. Before long we were on the plane and in our seats. C pointed out that Ze Germans were behind us and that they'd probably come along earlier in the morning to put their towels over their seats. Anyway, at 0830 UK time our flight to Toronto began and the trip had officially started. Whoop whoop!

During the flight I quickly tried to get into the mood for the trip and opted to be anti-social and watch a film. Browsing through the list I came across "Edge of Darkness". Noooooo! The woman in front of us was watching it. She obviously wanted to end her life. However, a short browse through the list and I found "The Hangover" - four guys in Vegas who got so drunk they don't remember a thing - fitting don't you think? At 1250 UK time the Stewardess came round with refreshments and we cracked open our first beer of the trip. In homage to our destination I went for Coors Light. C opted for Heineken. Nice. I soon regretted my decision as I had forgotten just how shit the shitty American light beers taste. It was probably for the best though as drinking games in Providence are bound to have some of the delicious nectar that is "Natural Light" (Beer flavoured water with alcohol). I also continued my tradition of sitting at the back of a plane and not paying for drinks, a skill I started last summer. However, I was disappointed when C pointed out that they are free to all on long haul.With our drinks came a rather interestingly named snack. "Maized and Confused Corn Chips". I'm not sure what a "confused" corn chip is, but they were disgusting. -Nice-

My need to pee twice withing an hour worried C who began to doubt my ability to handle my ability to survive on our long drives. One more pee trip later and he now began to doubt whether I was a guy. C started to watch some terrible looking film about people getting stuck on a Ski lift. He was grossed out when one of them was being eaten by Wolves. A man with a baby decided this was the best time to walk down and stand near us for his baby to take in the gore-fest. I decided that the baby grossed me out more than the film, it was ginger. No-one likes a ginger baby. 7 and a half tiring hours later and we landed in Toronto. This is where the fun began...

I had decided to purchase some Twinings tea for JL, who I know likes to drink tea. C joked that I would be pulled aside at customs for having brown powder in my bags. I got nervous and decided to tick the yes box for "Have you brought any food items into the country?". I nervously approached the customs officer, but he wanted nothing to do with me or my Twinings. Instead, C got called into "Secondary Baggage Inspection", whilst I was ushered straight through the magnetic scanner bit. On the other side there was no sign of C. I waited for 20-30 minutes but still nothing. I decided to wander down to the gate and see if he was there, but alas, no sign still. I began to worry and fear the worst. I had images of small rooms and officers pulling on latex gloves. 5 minutes to boarding with still no sign of C and I was freaking out. Suffice to say, fairly brown boxer shorts by now. Eventually he appeared with his dignity intact and we boarded our flight to Boston, MA.

Despite the unfriendly lady's friendly gesture of putting is in seats next to each other, the flight turned out to be a mass free-for-all and seemed to be a Mother's outing day with their babies. I was asked to sit at the back on my own. When the stewardess came round with refreshments I opted for Coke purely for the caffeine. I took another gamble on the "confused corn chips", which tasted rather good after 12 sleep deprived hours. I scoffed them down almost as fast as the Michelle McManus look-a-like sat next to me. I tried to get some sleep, but it wasn't happening. I was sat next to the toilet and it is very hard to sleep in those conditions. A few minutes later and the corn chips clearly weren't enough nourishment as Michelle tucked into a large pack of sweets. Standard. It was only a short flight and within 90 minutes we were in Boston.

We planned to meet MH at the airport, my good friend from my work here last summer. I soon realised I had no way of contacting her, but had only told her to meet us at our baggage claim. Luckily that was easy and we got on a shuttle bus to get the car. At the Hertz depot the guy took our reservation and asked where we would be dropping the car off. When C said "San Francisco" the guy looked as though we'd just told him his Mum was dead. Anyway, the fright of our answer must have shocked him as he threw in a free Sat Nav and didn't charge us the $800 under-age driver fee. Nice one! We were given a white Toyota Corolla and C won the coin toss to see who drove to Providence. -Our pimp-mobile for the next 5 weeks-

I'll be honest, the Sat Nav was shite and almost made us come off at the wrong exit on the I-93. C tried to merge back into the freeway and nearly pulled out infront of a car. We got to Providence with no other mishaps though........ which was nice.

We parked up and got let into JL and EM's house by some random guy who didn't know who JL was. There didn't seem to be anyone at home, but after poking my head around the door to one bedroom I saw JL lying there on the phone. Just how I remember him. We embraced (in a manly way) and JL showed me his fridge and what was inside for the 4th July plans. Two packs of minced Bison and one large pack of minced beef. Bison burgers were our speciality last summer. We decided it was Beer o' Clock and went out. We started our first evening in America by heading down to a British Pub. I pointed out to JL that we had not flown 3 and a half thousand miles to go to a Pub. When he told me that there were abour 200 beers in the pub I soon shut up. The four of us (Me, C, JL and MH) drank steadily and chatted. I felt a bit sorry for C as we were mainly talking about last summer stories and Sleep Lab stuff. A little bit later PZ joined us and insisted on buying C and JL a shot of Jack Daniels. I opted out. Whisky is Satan's liquid as far as I'm concerned. We also had the rather nice looking waitress bring us over some free shots because she saw we had to go to the bar to order one of our drinks and was sorry. You don't get that sort of service down in Wetherspoons! We also had some food and it was a pleasant mildly drunk evening. We went via the liqour store to get beer for 4th July celebrations. When we got back JL tucked into a cup of Twinings and C and I had a beer.-JL is clearly confused by my Gorillapod-

A little later EM came back from work! We called it a night though and everyone went off to bed. Me and C thought we had done quite well lasting until 2200 US time (0300 UK time, 21 hours awake) and hoped it would stop us getting jet lag.

At 0500 this morning we both woke up. FAIL. Since then I have been sat here writing this on JL's laptop (he started work at 0400). The plans for today's 4th July are as follows: I am off to my old lab to meet the new Dement Fellows and go for lunch with them. C is staying behind I think, which I feel a bit guilty about, but then I'm getting free lunch. From then on it is off to PZ's house to spend the afternoon drinking and BBQing. We are also planning to play "You honk we drink". A simple, yet fun game we played last summer (but JL missed out). It consists of getting a bit of wood and making a sign saying "You honk, we drink" and sitting outside in the street with a crate of beer. Epic. I'm not sure what I'm going to do until then, it's currently 0640, but I'll probably let C use the laptop soon.

Take care everyone!

Garry